Nothing irritates me more than hearing my kids telling me that they can’t do something. My response is so visceral, I often have to count to three before I respond with, “Don’t tell me can’t. Tell me you need help.” I’ve said this so many times, they have begun to stop themselves in mid-sentence. Telling yourself that you can’t do something is self-defeating and useless. The time you spend telling yourself you can’t is time you can spend figuring how you can.
Can I be honest with you for a minute? I think saying that you can’t do something is a cop out and indicates fear of trying at the risk of failure. The fear of failure will keep you stagnant and unable to see how very capable you are of doing just about anything you put your mind to. The phrase “mind over matter” annoys me because sometimes the “matter” are the obstacles that show up in everyday life. A single mother who has the desire future her education by back to school has the “mind” to go but the “matter” such as finding childcare, getting financial aid is an obstacle. The woman has two options, roll over in defeat and say “I can’t do this” or do what my mother did which was to fulfill her dreams despite her circumstances.
I’ll admit that I’m jaded because of my upbringing. In my mother’s house, the word “can’t” was just as bad as cussing. Before you say can’t do something, make a list all of the things that you have accomplished. I’m willing to bet your list full of things that you once thought you once were impossible. You are far more capable that what you give yourself credit for, I’m sure of it. Don’t roll your eyes at me, you know I’m telling the truth. Doing something starts with believing you can.
“What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are.” Tony Robbins
Adapted from “Work Your Package—A Guide to Being the Total Package” by Ayanna Castro
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Copyright © 2014 Ayanna Castro. All Rights Reserved.