Are you the person that everyone calls for a pep talk, a quick pick me up, encouraging words or motivation? Yes? Yeah, me too. But what happens when you need someone to be your cheerleader? What happens when you need somebody to hold up the pom poms up for you? It is easy to become the default person for people in your life to depend on you for their own emotional well-being especially if you are a giver and nurturer. It is also very easy for you to become emotionally drained from taking care of everybody else. What I know for sure (to quote Oprah Winfrey) is that you have to take care of yourself first. When you feel that you were being stretched thin to the point of being transparent, it is time to take a step back and focus on you. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you are still being helpful to others when your emotional tank is empty.
When you finally decide to take care of yourself you will disappoint/upset/piss off at least one if not a few people. And guess what? It is OK! It is okay to say “I need some time for myself” and not feel guilty about it. Expect resistance from the people who depend on you the most. I think everybody is entitled to a couple of days when they don’t cater to anyone else but themselves. When I take time for myself, I can hear the “little birdie”. I’m not worried about pleasing everyone when I’m focus on getting centered and regaining my peace of mind. As someone who has suffered from panic and anxiety attacks, I know the attacks are usually triggered when I stretch myself thin and said “yes” when I should have been saying “no”. It’s usually when I’ve given and I’ve given and I’ve given until nothing is left for me. It is part of my personality to help others and it is also my downfall because a lot of times I won’t see the signs until it is almost too late. As I’ve gotten older I’ve been able to recognize the triggers and take a step back from everything and everybody so that I can take time to recharge, reflect and hear the ideas that have been swimming around in my head.
What is your “little birdie” telling you? I encourage you take time for yourself and exercise your “yes to self” muscle. Yes, you will piss some people off. Yes, some people will feel that you are being selfish. But you know what? It’s okay because after you taken some time for yourself, you will feel rejuvenated and energized…and ready pick up your pom poms to cheer for someone else.
With love,
