Are you the person that everyone calls for a pep talk, a quick pick me up, encouraging words or motivation? Yes? Yeah, me too. But what happens when you need someone to be your cheerleader? What happens when you need somebody to hold up the pom poms up for you? It is easy to become the default person for people in your life to depend on you for their own emotional well-being especially if you are a giver and nurturer. It is also very easy for you to become emotionally drained from taking care of everybody else. What I know for sure (to quote Oprah Winfrey) is that you have to take care of yourself first. When you feel that you were being stretched thin to the point of being transparent, it is time to take a step back and focus on you. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you are still being helpful to others when your emotional tank is empty.
When you finally decide to take care of yourself you will disappoint/upset/piss off at least one if not a few people. And guess what? It is OK! It is okay to say “I need some time for myself” and not feel guilty about it. Expect resistance from the people who depend on you the most. I think everybody is entitled to a couple of days when they don’t cater to anyone else but themselves. When I take time for myself, I can hear the “little birdie”. I’m not worried about pleasing everyone when I’m focus on getting centered and regaining my peace of mind. As someone who has suffered from panic and anxiety attacks, I know the attacks are usually triggered when I stretch myself thin and said “yes” when I should have been saying “no”. It’s usually when I’ve given and I’ve given and I’ve given until nothing is left for me. It is part of my personality to help others and it is also my downfall because a lot of times I won’t see the signs until it is almost too late. As I’ve gotten older I’ve been able to recognize the triggers and take a step back from everything and everybody so that I can take time to recharge, reflect and hear the ideas that have been swimming around in my head.
What is your “little birdie” telling you? I encourage you take time for yourself and exercise your “yes to self” muscle. Yes, you will piss some people off. Yes, some people will feel that you are being selfish. But you know what? It’s okay because after you taken some time for yourself, you will feel rejuvenated and energized…and ready pick up your pom poms to cheer for someone else.
Have you discovered your purpose? The question seems to be the “in” thing to ask someone and it is dangerously on the verge of being labeled as a gimmick. There are hundreds of speakers and authors out there who all claim to know how to you should discover your purpose. At the risk of insulting some very accomplished, well-paid folks…no one can tell you how to discover your purpose. By its very nature, the discovery of your purpose in life is a personal experience and no two people will experience it the same way. Some people know their purpose very early in life and I think that is amazing. Then there are some who discover it a little later in life only to realize they have been doing it all along but never put a label on what they were doing. Knowing your purpose will change the way you look at your life and everything and everyone in it. Once you discover and embrace your purpose, you will begin to attract the people and things you need to get you closer to your goal. The “little birdie” that used to whisper to you will begin to squawk loudly whenever you veer off course. You dismiss yourself from the presence of negativity and shallow relationships with people who never have an encouraging word. And because we all can be a little hard headed, the “little birdie” will have some back up and the whispered desires of your heart will get an audible voice from someone who has been watching your journey from the sidelines and has been cheering you on since day one. The journey towards your purpose is not a marathon. It is not something that can be accomplished during a one day seminar. As I’ve said before and will say again (because I know my purpose), you already have everything you need inside of you to be extraordinary.
I fall in the second category of people who have discovered their purpose. I smile when I think about how long I’ve been on this path and not once thinking it was my purpose. Different milestones in my life have put the spotlight on my purpose and nudged me along when I began to doubt myself. My intrinsic circles of family without DNA are getting bigger and overlapping with each downpour of blessings I receive and accomplishment I make.
I know I’m not alone in this journey and neither are you. There’s a misconception that one’s purpose has to be something that changes humanity. When in reality, your purpose may only affect those closest to you and they will pay it forward to others. Take a look at your board of directors. Are they pushing you a little further pass your comfort zone? Are they giving you the feedback you need to bounce back from challenges and setbacks? Yes? Then you are closer to your purpose than you think.
Until next time, continue to Work Your Package…