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It’s You Against You

This competition-driven world is getting on my damn nerves. Can I just say that out loud? This whole, I have to be better than you. I have to outdo you. I have to outshine you. I need to be better. I need to do more, have more, see more, travel more, eat at the best place. All of this, I need to do better than you nonsense is ridiculous.

It needs to be you against you. The only person you need to be competing against is you. That’s it. The only thing you need to be competing against or trying to top is what you did yesterday. The only thing that you need to worry about besting is what you did best yesterday. Other people are not concerned about you. My good friend, Bianca Wise (The Mindset Snob) is the queen of minding her damn business. I prescribe to that thought. I believe in minding my damn business. I also believe, to quote my mentor, Sylvia Anderson, who said “There are 12 months in the year, I got six months to mind my mind business, and six months to stay out of your business.”

Who are you secretly competing against? Is it the social media influencers? Is it the other PTA mom who seems like every Monday she’s bringing in freshly baked cookies and cakes and cupcakes for the teacher lounge? Is it the dude at your job who seems to always have the manager’s ear? So, it seems like he’s the pet and always gets his way. Is it the person in your organization who, you know, seems like they’re always getting all the awards and you feel like you’ve done all this work and no recognition? Is it your spouse? Are y’all competing for the most exhausted parent? Is it your sibling? Are you fighting for, you know, the best child award? What are you competing for? Who are you competing against? Because I’m going to be honest with you, if you were really honest with yourself, there’s been other people that you’ve looked at and said, “ I can do that better”. Better. There’s a difference between looking at somebody’s achievements for inspiration and looking at somebody’s achievements in envy.

When you find yourself looking at people’s achievements in envy, now you’re competing against them. When you look at them in admiration, that’s when you start competing against yourself because that’s when you have to dig deep and figure out, “Okay, what can I do to make myself better?” Not because you’re going after what they have, but that you see that it’s possible. There’s a difference between seeing great things happen and it being aspirational or great things happen for somebody else and you being envious. Envy will have you at a point of competing with someone. And to be real honest, everybody is in first place in their own race. I’ll say that again. Everybody is in first place in their own race. There’s no race that you can jump into of somebody else’s and think you going to be in the first place. It’s just not going to happen. You’re not going to win. So, I say this with all types of love in my heart…

It’s you against you. Stop competing against other people, whether outwardly, secretly, or inwardly. You know you better than anybody else. You know if you’ve been competing against somebody else. And it probably shows up in the ugliest of ways. It shows up in the shady comments. It shows up in the offhanded comments, “Oh, that was cute that you did such and such”. That’s ugly. Check yourself and then reassess and figure out where you are going to compete with you.

How are you going to beat your best?

Until next time,

Watch the replay of the FB live that inspired this post here: It’s You Against You

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