Every now and then it’s good to take some time to do some self-reflection. During my six-day visit to Abu Dhabi and Dubai, I remembered that I have continued to train certain people in my life to treat me the way they do. Family members, friends, and co-workers have all been taught by me that’s it is okay to infringe upon my “me time”. That it’s okay to say they will call and don’t. That it’s okay to come to my desk and stand there while I’m on the phone. I taught them how to do it by accepting the behavior and not lovingly or professionally correcting them the first time they displayed behavior. I didn’t tell them that wanting time for myself is not selfish, it’s necessary for my emotional well being. I didn’t tell them that I was disappointed when they didn’t keep their word. I didn’t tell them that I would appreciate it if they didn’t just walk up to my desk and start talking without first checking to see if I was busy.
Standing firm on what I will accept and allow will definitely raise eyebrows and ruffle several feathers and I am comfortable with the uncomfortable feeling that I might feel through this process. The process will be a little more difficult with the people I love. When you are not allowed to fully express your feelings because someone finds fault in them or tries to negate them with an explanation, you are essentially robbed of the satisfaction of trusting a person you love with your deepest fears. I’m hoping that those who claim to love me will listen to what I have to say with their heart and not their selfish ego. I admit I’m little afraid of how my personal relationships might change. However, what I know and believe in my heart is the relationships that have a strong foundation will survive and those that are superficial will wither under the weight of me standing in my truth. And I’m okay with that.
How are you teaching others to treat you?