I need your help. Sure.
I need a favor. Okay.
I need to vent. I’m listening.
Hey, can you help me out with something? I’m kind of busy right now.
Can you do me a favor? What’s in it for me?
I’m really stressed right now. So let me tell you how my day really sucked.
One of the hardest lessons I had to learn was there’s a difference between being helpful and being used. People who are caring and nurturing by nature have a tendency to give more than the other person actually deserves. Actually, we give before the other person provides credentials or passes a background check to show that they’re even worthy of receiving it our time, kindness and generosity. Recovering People Pleasers have a tendency to see the good in everybody and walk around with rose-colored glasses. God forbid should we say ‘no’ and run the risk of having someone not “like” us. But the old adage is true: You teach people how to treat you. If you’re teaching people that you’re not worth your full value, they will continue to ask for discounts and sales when it comes to access to your life. When you know your worth there are certain things you will not tolerate such as a lack of respect in any regard. It’s easier to speak up about your frustrations than to walk around with it bottled up inside. Knowing your worth allows you to speak up and to speak your truth without being disrespectful to others. I’ve said this many times before you need to surround yourself with people who do not tolerate you but celebrate you. And that doesn’t mean telling you how great you are all the time. It means that they remind you that you’re smart, brilliant, creative and awesome to be around. It also means that they challenge you and call you out on your foolishness and shenanigans when you’re not living up to your full potential. Your board of directors is indicative of how you value yourself. If you are surrounded by people who do not have a healthy self-image, how can you possibly expect them to help you develop yours? I can use a whole bunch of catchphrases here…iron sharpens iron, birds of a feather flock together…you get the point.
And while it’s great to have a board of directors who were just as kick-ass and phenomenal as you are, you have to learn how to love yourself as much as you love other people. You attract who you are so if you are feeling miserable and full of doubt, you will attract your mirror image. Remember you teach people how to treat you and the best way to show them is by loving yourself. Stop giving the freeloaders of your kindness a free ride. Tell them your price, add tax and add 10% for all your time they’ve wasted. The people who genuinely want to be around you will have no problem paying full price. The people who do not complain about the price honestly want to see you be an extraordinary version of yourself. They will pay every single dollar, will make the time on their calendar, will answer the phone when you call, will respond to your text messages late at night and will encourage you when you are ready to throw in the towel. A sincere love is one of the best gifts you can ever give to someone why not give it to yourself first?