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Tag: Being Authentic

Your Scars Are Your Credentials

Your Scars Are Your Credentials

Exhausted. Irritated. Overwhelmed. That was me last week. Multiple responsibilities from home and work collided and I was left feeling defeated and depleted. I had nothing else to give to anyone or to myself. I didn’t feel like working any of my “packages” and felt guilty about it. I shared my feelings online and received permission to be still. Understand this, I didn’t need or ask for permission. What blew me away was that the people who told me it was okay for me to take a day or several days off were the people who I serve. The people who have attended Work Your Package conferences, have bought the book, read the weekly blog and double-tap my images on Instagram. It was confirmation that I could be vulnerable and transparent to the people I was created to serve without being viewed negatively. Additional confirmation came in the form of a sermon preached by Pastor Battle of Zion Church. The name of the sermon was “A Wounded Witness”. Here are some of the lessons I learned from that sermon:

1. Your wounds are a witness.
2. Some of the stuff you’ve been through, you can’t hide.
3. Being transparent is one thing, being touchable is another. (Reminds me of Dr. Brene Brown’s teaching on vulnerability)
4. Sometimes you have to reopen a wound in order to help someone else.
6. Stop giving a censored version of your wounds.
7. Wisdom, grace, life, compassion come out your wounds.
8. Don’t ask why you went through what you did. Ask why you survived it. It’s your credentials. You’ve been to hell and back so that you can help others.

It looks great on social media to appear like you have everything together but behind closed doors that facade is exhausting and eventually, the truth will seep out and your authenticity will be in question. It’s okay to say that you are tired and feeling overwhelmed. Sharing the challenges of life doesn’t diminish who you are as a person, tarnish your “brand” or your effectiveness as a leader. Wounds lead to scars and scars lead to lessons that will help others.

With love,

Masks Are For Masquerade Balls

Masks Are For Masquerade Balls

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I have a secret. I’m an avid people watcher. Not the creepy, stalker type of watcher but the observant, “I don’t miss much” type of people watcher. Do you know what I’ve noticed? The old saying “fake it until to you make it” has trapped a lot of us into wearing a mask 24 hours a day. Oh, you don’t know what I’m talking about? I’m talking about the mask that says, “Everything is great!”. The mask that says you have it all together. You know, the mask that tells everyone your family is perfect, your finances are stellar, your job is amazing and your company is thriving. But in reality…

…you wish you could run away from home

…you are one paycheck away from not being able to pay your mortgage

…you and your significant other are fighting like cats and dogs

…there isn’t a day you don’t mumble under your breath “I hate this job” at least five times

…the amazing idea you had to start your own business is starting to feel like the dumbest thing you’ve ever done 

Sounds familiar?

There are two huge disadvantages to wearing a mask. Remember when you wore a mask for Halloween when you were a kid? Remember how the holes that were cut out for your eyes never lined up properly and your vision was impaired? The same thing happens when you wear the “everything is perfect” mask. Your vision of others become blurry. So instead of seeing circumstances for what they really are, you try to make them into what they should be based on the mask you are wearing. Secondly, when you are wearing a mask it is impossible for people to have an authentic relationship with you.  Two people trying to have any type of relationship while either one of them is wearing a mask can be catastrophic. It is essential to meet people exactly where they are. When you don’t show up as who you really are, the other person may feel the need to pick up a mask they had no intention of wearing. They feel obligated to put one because you were wearing yours and the deception continues back and forth until…

Communication breaks down…

Trust is broken and lost…

Relationships are damaged…

Amazing opportunities are missed…

All because of the stupid masks we wear because we are afraid to show the world who we really are.

Take the mask off.  Someone needs to see your real emotions, pain, struggles and success. Your journey has the power to inspire someone move beyond accepting a mediocre life and propel them to being absolutely extraordinary. You never know who you might encourage to take off their mask when you show the courage to remove your mask first.

 

With love,

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