When you hear someone mention how much clutter they have, you might assume they are talking about physical stuff like magazines they don’t have time to read, clothes that no longer fit or wedding gifts that they will never use. The sentimental, “what if’s”, and things you have inherited can take up precious physical space and create unnecessary clutter in your home or office. But there is also emotional clutter such as pent up hurt, disappointment, anger, and resentment. Left unexpressed, these feelings repeatedly come to the surface and will not allow you to move forward.
How long are you going to hold on to that grudge that you should have let go of days, weeks, months or YEARS ago? How long are you going to replay that argument in your head? How long are you going to blame someone else for your unhappiness? How long are you going to blame yourself for something you had no control over? How long are you going to let your flaws define you instead of strengthening you? All of that emotional clutter is keeping you from seeing the big picture. It is clouding your judgment, causing self-doubt and keeping you from being your authentic self. That ‘clutter’ is keeping you from fully articulating and demonstrating your life’s work and purpose.
What clutter do you need to let go of?
For the men that might read this, I apologize in advance. This post wasn’t written for you. It doesn’t mean you should leave, it just means that I need to talk to the women today.
Okay, so let’s talk about it. Adele won the Grammy for Album of the Year and after everyone who had taken part in making the album was on the stage, Adele proceeded to tell everyone that she couldn’t possibly accept the award because it belonged to the artist of her life, Beyonce. Wait, what? Now let’s be clear. According to Billboard.com, Adele’s album has sold over 9 million copies, spent 10 consecutive weeks at #1 on the Billboard charts, had over 4 million downloads of the lead single, “Hello”, there were 1.7 BILLION views of her video on YouTube and grossed $159.3 million dollars from 102 shows during a year-long tour. You don’t have to be an Adele fan or even know who she is to appreciate those numbers. The point is, her album did well. Very well. So why did she feel like the most coveted award belonged to another artist? This is what happens when a woman is so confident in her talent that she had no problem sharing the spotlight with a woman who is equally talented. It didn’t take anything away from Adele to tell Beyonce how “monumental” her album was while she accepted the award.
And while there were many who tried to make this a racial conversation, I saw it as a model of what happens when a woman realizes that acknowledging the awesome, fantastic and stupendous in another woman does not make her any less amazing, talented and extraordinary. Backstage, Adele was asked why she spent so much time talking about Beyonce. Her answer was simple. She was a fan of Beyonce and “Lemonade” was her album of the year. I think the phrase “haters” (which I think is the stupidest phrase…ever) would finally disappear if women did this for each other ALL THE TIME. There is nothing more powerful than women supporting each other.
Are you supporting other women? When was the last time you…
- gave another woman a genuine compliment?
- publicly supported another woman at your company?
- recommended another entrepreneur to a client because you knew she was a better fit for the job?
- sent a word of encouragement?
There’s room for everyone to shine. Don’t believe me? Look at the stars.
Registration for the 4th annual Work Your Package Women’s Conference is open. Register today at www.wyp2017.eventbrite.com
Raise your hand if you are guilty of either of the following:
…putting the needs of others before your own needs
…saying “yes” when I really need to say “hell no”.
You don’t need a stronger backbone, you need to practice self-care. You would think that self-care would be intuitive. It is not. It something that we have to practice every single day. To help you get started or get better with self-care, here’s a link to 9 phenomenal TED talks on the importance of self-care (https://www.ted.com/playlists/299/the_importance_of_self_care). The talks range in length from 3 minutes to 20 minutes and are sure to either inspire you or give you swift, but loving kick in the butt. I’ve said it before and I will say it again…self-care isn’t selfish, it’s necessary.
This past election season has shown that fear of the unknown can be fodder for hours of complaints and speculations around the coffee table or the water cooler. Let’s face it, change is scary as hell. What are the big changes you are facing in your life right now? Are you digging your heels in and refusing to budge or are you peeking around the corner at the possibility of what “might be”? Yes, change is scary. But do you know what is scarier? Looking back at your life a month, a year or ten years later and wanting to kick yourself for not making a change. Accepting and embracing change allows for self-reflection and evaluation to take place. You may learn that you are more resilient than you once thought. You may realize that you are stronger than you once gave yourself credit. Yes, change can absolutely suck. But what if the change leads to something miraculous and you realize that you could have robbed yourself of the opportunity to stretch just a little bit out of your comfort zone? What if change lands you in your dream job? What if change finally takes off those last 10 pounds? What if change adds a comma to the balance in your retirement and savings account.
As you encounter change, instead of running away, ask “what if?”