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Month: January 2017

Reflection

Reflection

Every now and then it’s good to take some time to do some self-reflection. During my six-day visit to Abu Dhabi and Dubai, I remembered that I have continued to train certain people in my life to treat me the way they do. Family members, friends, and co-workers have all been taught by me that’s it is okay to infringe upon my “me time”. That it’s okay to say they will call and don’t. That it’s okay to come to my desk and stand there while I’m on the phone. I taught them how to do it by accepting the behavior and not lovingly or professionally correcting them the first time they displayed behavior. I didn’t tell them that wanting time for myself is not selfish, it’s necessary for my emotional well being. I didn’t tell them that I was disappointed when they didn’t keep their word. I didn’t tell them that I would appreciate it if they didn’t just walk up to my desk and start talking without first checking to see if I was busy.

Standing firm on what I will accept and allow will definitely raise eyebrows and ruffle several feathers and I am comfortable with the uncomfortable feeling that I might feel through this process. The process will be a little more difficult with the people I love. When you are not allowed to fully express your feelings because someone finds fault in them or tries to negate them with an explanation, you are essentially robbed of the satisfaction of trusting a person you love with your deepest fears. I’m hoping that those who claim to love me will listen to what I have to say with their heart and not their selfish ego. I admit I’m little afraid of how my personal relationships might change. However, what I know and believe in my heart is the relationships that have a strong foundation will survive and those that are superficial will wither under the weight of me standing in my truth. And I’m okay with that.

How are you teaching others to treat you?

With love,

New Experiences = Broader Perspective

New Experiences = Broader Perspective

Abu Dhabi Sheik Zayed Grand Mosque

This week I’m visiting the cities of Abu Dhabi and Dubai in the United Arab Emirates. I’m traveling with about 100 other women, mostly my sorors of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. The trip is a trip of a lifetime (although I plan to come back soon). How could I miss the opportunity to: 1) travel to the richest capital city in the world, 2) immerse myself in a culture that so often misrepresented and misunderstood and 3) celebrate 97 years of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. on Founders’ Day with my international sorors? The short answer is I could not. This trip was a year in the making. A year of sacrificing my favorite vanilla lattes with a triple shot of espresso, eating out, cute shoes and fabulous handbags. A year of reminding myself that I would be traveling to where no other woman in my family has ever gone and I was setting an example for my daughters to follow. I got an opportunity to try food that I didn’t know existed, like beef bacon and coffee made with saffron and rose water and eat food I wouldn’t regularly eat, like rocoto miso glazed black cod with avocado poblano puree and orange mojo. I embraced the culture and wore a jalabiya to dinner with my sorors and felt like a queen, if only for an evening. To receive compliments from Muslim and Arab women as I walked through the hotel was an amazing feeling. While I reside in the United States, I am a global citizen. This trip is just the beginning of my journey to expand my global experience. When was the last time you purposely set out to have new experiences to gain a broader perspective?

With love,

 

 

 

 

Registration is open for the 4th annual Work Your Package Women’s Conference on October 6 & 7, 2017.

www.wyp2017.eventbrite.com

 

When Plan A Doesn’t Work…Don’t Forget B, C, D and E

When Plan A Doesn’t Work…Don’t Forget B, C, D and E

We are 11 days into the new year. How many of you made resolutions and you are ready to throw in the towel? How many times have you come up with a goal and completely give up because you didn’t get the results you expected? (I’m raising my hand!!) There are times when work, kids, family and just life, in general, will keep you from reaching your goals. If your original plan doesn’t work, come up with a different plan. There are some people who are able to shift lanes quickly and then there are others who want to stay in the same lane for the duration of their journey. If you are part of the later, here are some things to consider:

You Woke Up This Morning – Not to sound morbid, but the only valid excuse you have to give up is if you are dead. As long as you are alive (and healthy and free) you have the choice to keep trying until you finally achieve your goal.

Be Realistic – The chance of mastering something the first time you do it is almost non-existent. You are setting yourself up for disappointment if you think otherwise. Everything takes some time to learn and you will make mistakes. Learn from them.

You Are Strong – You are stronger than you think.  It’s okay to fail 10 times as long as you try again 11 times.

Prove It To Yourself – You don’t want to be known as someone who gives up. Go out there and prove it to yourself that you can do whatever the heck you set your mind to. You CAN and WILL achieve what you set out to do. The only time you fail is when you give up.

You Probably The Not Only Person Who Has Tried It – If someone else can do it then so can you. Even if it is only one other person in the world that has achieved what you have set out to achieve, that should be reason enough for you to never give up.

Believe In Your Dreams – Don’t sell yourself short. There are going to be many people who will try to bring you down and tell you what you want to achieve is not possible. Don’t let anyone destroy your dreams.

You Deserve To Be Happy – Don’t ever let anybody tell you otherwise. You deserve to be happy and you deserve to have success. Keep that mindset and never give up until you reach your destination!

Be An Inspiration To Others – Be an inspiration to others by refusing to give up. You never know who is watching you achieve your goals and become inspired because of your success after experiencing disappointment.

With love,

 

 

 

 

Registration for the 4th annual Work Your Package Women’s Conference is open. Register today: www.wyp2017.eventbrite.com

 

3 Lessons from History Makers

3 Lessons from History Makers

Katherine Johnson – an extraordinary mathematician who calculated the trajectories for Glenn’s Friendship 7 mission and worked on the Apollo and space shuttle programs. (Photo: www.nasa.gov)

My family and I saw the movie “Hidden Figures” starring Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer and Janelle Monae over this past weekend. The actresses portrayed three remarkable women who made history at NASA…Katherine Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan and Mary Jackson. These women were the brains behind one of the greatest engineering feats in history: the launch of astronaut John Glenn into orbit. I took my daughters to see the movie, hoping that they would be inspired and encouraged and maybe just a little bit intrigued about STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts, Math). I didn’t expect to walk out the theater with three lessons…for myself.

Lesson #1 – There will be times when you will be the ONE in the room. Being the ONE can be many things – the only woman, the only person of ethnicity, the youngest, the oldest or the smartest. Being the one in the room has a myriad of challenges to include feeling isolated and heaven forbid inadequate. You might even ask yourself, Do I really belong here? The answer is YES. Often times the other people in the room didn’t have the influence necessary to keep you out of the room. You are there to be a brilliant, strategic, witty, compassionate and a problem-solver. You aren’t in the room by chance.

Lesson #2 – Just because they love you don’t mean they will understand your “why”. Your love ones mean well, but let’s face it….they will not understand your “why” especially if they don’t have one of their own. Listen, a woman who is driven and focused can drive the average man insane. When you know you have purpose for your life greater than what is right in front you, you will seek that purpose as that purpose makes room for you to excel and be extraordinary. That type of focus can be hard for the people who love you to understand. Don’t lose focus. Keep going until to you make history.

Lesson #3 – Folks will try to limit your elevation based on their insecurities and prejudices. There are some of you reading this right now who are doing a job that your aren’t being paid for but are expected to do. You are managing major projects, you are managing a team, you are nurturing crucial client relationships, you are saving the company millions…but you haven’t been recognized for it. This is what I know, when you consistently showing up and deliver your best, your talent will make a way for you in the most unexpected ways. That promotion you keep asking for and rightfully deserve might not come to you in the way you expect. The people who have the power to promote you aren’t always the people who supervise you.

So what did my girls learn from the movie? They learned that you can do anything you put your mind to no matter what someone else may say or if they try to stop you. They learned that putting a man in space requires lots and lots of math. They learned that when women work together and look out for each other, good things happen. Out of the mouths of babes, but truer words have never been spoken.

With love,

 

 

 

 

Registration for the 4th annual Work Your Package Women’s Conference is open: www.wyp2017.eventbrite.com